05/03/2023

My understanding of my existence and my life here alive today begins with the first reading at today's masses. Abram is the one that God chose to be the father of the souls that would have the Evergreater God revealed to them; to have the covenant explained in its fullness; to know the merciful redemption; and have the freedom to make the choices that will determine our futures after our deaths.

Many centuries later St Paul reaffirmed that God's purpose was for us to live in holiness. Our freedom decrees that we have to make the right choice for holiness because that has been the loving origin of our  Creation by Father Son and Holy Spirit before time began. Jesus scandalised his listeners on more than one occasion but especially by "Before Abraham was, I am".

The nature of being, existence, is known only to God; faint glimpses have been seen and then expounded by great intellects but no human is capable of grasping a concept of God that is complete for he is the Evergreater. Some souls have had great experiences that have come to them in this world. St Paul knew that he had been carried into heaven. St Francis' faith was witnessed by the wounds that appeared on his body.

It seems impossible that after such a revelation of the Glory of the being of God as reported in today's Gospel, St Peter could return to the sinfulness that would deny Jesus not even once but three times. Thus is the foundation stone of our Church. Our first Pope was a very weak man who having chosen to follow stumbled more than once on his path to the glory of martyrdom. 

The first Church founded and filled with eye witnesses of the Resurrection became the institution which has displayed so many disavowals and contradictions throughout the centuries; Jesus' "my kingdom is not of this world"  has only ever been witnessed in its total denial by Papal States of which the Vatican is the last remnant. Even the hypocrisy that has been the rule rather than the exception in Rome has not been able to make the reward of sainthood for most of the Popes. They have been really bad men.

The Church has always been peopled by the sinful. St Peter is surely not the only one of the Apostles who failed to match his preaching with the teaching and example of Christ. However, within the onion layers of our Church, well disguised, perhaps, there is always the promise of Christ "I will be with you until the end of time". supported by Peter's "Lord,where shall we go, you have the message of eternal life?"

Many of us have searched for an alternative answer but the only certainty in this life is provided by the historical events that happened 2000 years ago in Palestine. Not the founding of a Church but the Incarnation life, death and Resurrection of Jesus, true man and true God. 

Dear Lord let me come closer to what you have made me for, let my sinful thoughts be kept out of my consciousness, let me see the good in your Church and not be blinded by the failure she is in many ways.Your guidance comes to her at the times of most need. Please find a way for her to assure us that the Sacraments of your Grace are still made by you working with your priests. May Mary who still has room in her heart for all your children continue  to lead the prayers of all the angels and saints to fight against Satan who is the enemy I cannot love.