23/07/2022

I have not attended mass for the last 3 years. I am distrustful of all the Church structures which were once my mainstay in life. I truly believe that the Sacraments are the Grace of Jesus won by his Life Death and resurrection and instituted at the Last Supper. The Apostles became priests and passed this comission onto those who dedicated their lives to God. 

I am sitting here having read the mass readings of the day. The life of Faith becomes  the Life of Christ living in us. We cannot live without the roots and the vine which is the Living Jesus. I have to ask myself whether my devotion to Father Son and Holy Spirit is truly the mainstay of my life or has it been chosen by me as compensation for my lack of ability in the world. I have not been a success by the world's standards and for a long time my life was also morally corrupt punctuated with moments of piety. 

I have often been covetous of the success and wealth of others but when reading scriptures and thinking about life and how I should live mine I know that there is only one satisfactory answer to my disquiet. I must cling to my fragile link to the vine knowing that God knows me and that there can be nothing better than that. The world will pass away but the Word will stand.

Dear Lord I am only because you will it. You create us in Love and it is in the acceptance of your love that I can have my being. Seeking out and doing your will is the only way to live with justice in this world. I can only do good by putting you first then my neighbour. May my prayers join those of Our Lady and all the heavenly souls in thankful praise of your Glory and evergreater mercy.