19/01/2024

There is always a doubt in my mind whether or not I am really conforming to God's will for me as I go about the business of living consciously in this life. How can I know that I am using my freedom of choice to walk in the way of salvation?

David and Saul were also afflicted with such doubts but sometimes they were sure that they were with God and that God was with them. David did not kill Saul as he slept and Saul accepted the proof of his righteousness that David showed him.

God knows and cares for billions of us who are living today. I know very few of them. Father Son and Holy Spirit  knows each of us as intimately as he knows each of the kings and prophets of the Old Testament. The Apostles are named as the immediate friends of Jesus but there were thousands of unnamed but known disciples.

We all live because we are known to "Our Father". We live in the hard but transitory reality of this world. Everything that is real to me including myself will pass away. I and all humans have the ability to choose between "Yes and No" for God. The Apostles are chosen by name to continue Jesus' mission of Love. Judas is chosen to be an Apostle but is not destined to be the sole betrayer of  Our Lord for it is my sins and the sins of all the world that nail Jesus to his cross.

Dear Lord, let me become secure in my faith, let me never lose hope and let me be as concerned for the lives of others as I am for my own life. May Mary who knows how you lived for the salvation of each of us especially when she held your lifeless corpse after the crucifixion ask you her son to fill all our hearts with the grace that we can truly become part of your body that is the Communion of saints in heaven, sinners on Earth and penitent in Purgatory. 

 18/01/2024

I have now been entrusted with my own life for 83 years. My earliest memories are of searchlights and bombs and of being comforted by my mother inside what I now know to have been an indoor air-raid shelter.

I have been known to God from the first moment of my conception even though I knew nothing at that moment but now I can repeat the words of David composed centuries before my birth and ponder them. "In God I trust; I shall not fear; what can mortal man do against me?"

David put himself into the hands of Saul who had been seething in jealous anger as result of the victory inaugurated by David's defeat of Goliath. David could take this risk because he knew that God was on his side.

I am not prominent in the world as were David and Saul but am one of the billions known only to Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (None of us are anonymous to God).There are no enemies seeking my death but still I have to fear "the mortal man" that I am for it is only in this body that I can keep my soul free from sin and thus know, as did David "that I may walk in the presence of God and enjoy the light of the living."

Dear Lord, you know that I have not always loved and respected my parents as I should have done. My hope is that even if  not cleansed of their sins they are awaiting your Mercy in Purgatory and that we all, on Earth and in Purgatory can receive from the grace that is the Bliss of Mary and all the Saints. Amen.

 17/01/2024

 David killed Goliath.

Jesus totally condemned the use of violence even to defend ourselves, but the wars and slaughter of the Old Testament were continued by the Church founded by the same Jesus.

The Church of the first centuries began in the Pax Romana when the ambitions and egos of local rulers throughout the Middle-East and Western-Europe had been made subservient to the Roman Legions and their master, the Emperor. The egos of successive Emperors were so swollen that they decided that they must be Gods and they founded temples to promote this idea.

The Commandments of the only God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, forbid killing and all the behaviour that results in the blind anger that can only be assuaged by inflicting violence on the perceived source. All violence is self-destruction for our love of God is to be shown by the way we treat the other people for whom Jesus gave up his life. I am other people.

Many who realised the depth of Jesus' teaching paradoxically removed themselves from other people by opting for a solitary life alone in the desert. There have been many of us who since those times have remained in the World and been corrupted by its delights. There have also been many saints known only to God who have remained in the world and with God's Grace have beaten its temptations.

The institution that Jesus founded on St Peter has become evermore tangled in the things of this world and has evermore displayed the  main characteristic of any human institution, self preservation. The burning of heretics, Holy Wars and now the coverup of the crimes of sinful clergy mock not only the teaching of Jesus but also his body broken on the cross.

Jesus told the Apostles to go out and teach all nations, he told us to respect the world of other people. He  told us "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's" he did not found an alternative empire but a way through life leading to his Kingdom not of this world.

This is what St Antony sought in the desert and to which we can all open our hearts and souls. 

Dear Lord, You do not need me to tell you my thoughts and longings but doing so means that I can remember these few moments when I have the desire to pray by raising my heart and soul to you the Evergreater and the Ever-present. May all the world and purgatory benefit from the prayers of Mary and all the Saints. May my deceased parents know on this eve of the anniversary of my birth that I am still striving towards you and that their first child is not a total disaster.

 16/01/2024

The readings for today begin with the story of how David was chosen to be King of Judah. The Old and the New Testaments are still the source on which we base our belief in God. 

Samuel chooses a new King who sings the psalms in praise of of the wonder of his life and IAMIAM but is as sinful and repentant as we are. Jesus is preparing his disciples for his New Covenant which will complete the Law of Moses and enable the hearts of all people to receive his free gift of support for holiness and salvation in this life and future bliss in the Eternal Glory of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Today we are living in a material world that is a tribute to the intelligence and ingenuity of mankind. Science and Technology have enabled the basic principles of life to be manipulated and I have no doubt that secret laboratories are already attempting to or even cloning human bodies. 

How different are we from our Ancestors? In Gaza the human descendants of King David are still slaughtering the Amalekites. The Church which is the visible descendant of the Apostles is confusing more believers than it is shepherding. For myself, I still have remembrances, which come unbidden into my consciousness, of past sins which embarrass but do not horrify me as they should.

It is not easy to be aware of Our Father knowing that for his will to be done on earth each one of us has to cooperate and strive to bear the "yoke that is easy" and "the burden that is light". 

Dear Lord, your words are truth for the burden of sinful man has been carried to Calvary and there been sacrificed so that we need fear sin no more and can come face to face with all the sins of the world in confidence that you will guide us into your Love. My sins and the sins of all the world can be forgiven; we only have to choose. May the prayers of Mary and all the saints be heard and let the guns and weapons of all killers stilled so that we can truly do Your Will on Earth.

 15/01/2024

I usually have to wait after reading the texts that are to be used at mass. Today's slaughter in Gaza is too close to  King Saul 's slaughter of the Amalekites, who were another race claiming descent from Abraham, for me not to be silenced into incomprehension by the disgrace of the denial of God by those who have been the first recipients of his Self Revelation. 

I can view no violence against my brothers and sisters as "justified". The wars of the world since Christ have never been just. The theologians, Popes, Bishops and priests who have said other wise have failed their Lord and lead many of us into temptation. 

But the Old Testament is full of what is purported to be the Word of God commending violence and today's first reading goes so far as to have God punishing the first "King of the Jews" for not being violent enough. He has won a war against his enemies but has not completed the genocide as instructed having been distracted by loot. The prophet Samuel upbraids Saul for not completing the total destruction approved by IAMIAM.

Saul's place in the history of Israel is a result of how he reacted to the providence of God. We all are the same in that none of us choose to be born. We are all the same in that no matter the circumstances of our birth, we can all choose to live guided by the will of God revealed to us in the scriptures and in the history of the world.

Samuel is inspired by the Holy Spirit to declare in the face of Saul but for all humanity to hear 

    " Submissiveness is better than the fat of rams".

but he goes on to actually complete Saul's task by personally dispatching King Agag.

"Submissiveness" for an Old Testament prophet is not the same as for we who have knowledge of the one whose "Kingdom is not of this Word". 

The true "King of the Jews" and of all humanity is our exemplar of true submissiveness and the righteousness that we should all aim for if we are to walk upright conforming to the will of the Lord.

Is any of the slaughter taking place all over our world as I type, is any of this slaughter doing the will of Father, Son and Holy Spirit?The covenanted people Israel soon became more in love with themselves than with God. The Church founded on Peter soon did the opposite of what Our King declared before Pilate and created a Kingdom/Institution definitely of this world.

I am a sinful man living in a sinful world but within me there is a spark of longing for all this to be different. A world where all mankind accepts the Love which has created us and God is All in All.

Dear Lord, let me become by my own choice the man whose image and likeness is known only by you. Let me avoid sin and throughout this day know that there is a Spiritual Church, the Mystical Body of Christ and let me share in this with Mary and all the Saints praying for forgiveness for the sins of all the world and the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Amen

 14/01/2024

I have never experienced the call of God as a voice that is definitely outside of myself. 

In today's first reading Samuel responds to the voice of the Lord by going to the person nearest to him, Eli. Eli has to assure him a second time before realising that it is the Voice of God that is calling. IAMIAM is not a result of speculation or of imagination; he is not an abstract concept of the All Perfect, the All Knowing, the All Good, the All Free; he is a person,  Our Father whom Jesus called "Dad". 

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit reveal that God is a Trinity. This fact about God is revealed first of all to Mary at the Annunciation. She, born without sin, is to bear the "Begotten not Made". The conception of the Son is the Eternal, before time began or ends, will of the Father Son and Holy Spirit.

A human being is the  height of God's creation. He has given us the ability to say "yes" or "no" to his call. Samuel and Mary answered "Yes" but most of us do not hear the Lord calling in the night, nor receive a messenger from God. Most of us do not have the Baptist to point out to us the "Lamb of God". 

We are those blessed believers who have never seen and yet listen for and search out the authentic voice of the Lord. St Paul saw the Risen Lord not as a vision but the Risen Body, begotten not made, one in being with the Father and knew that he belonged body and Soul to "Our Father in Heaven".

From that moment he knew that, although he was a freeman he was a "slave" to God and shared with us that message which to ignore is to bring death. "You are not your own property, you have been bought and paid for. That is why you should use your body for the Glory of God".

Dear Lord, help us to avoid the meaningless fleeting pleasures that are the sins of the flesh. Human science has controlled the consequences of bodily delight and thus billions of us have ignored the seventh commandment. Help me to be truly penitent for all my sins and acknowledge that all my sinful behaviour was done knowing that I was deliberately disobeying my inner voice that is you calling to my soul. May the prayers of Mary and all the Saints bring to us the grace to resist the power of our bodies and the forgiveness that saves our souls from the ravages of sin.

 13/01/2024

Everything is not all about me but I do have to begin my meditations with myself for I am a real man, living in a real world and trying to respond with thankful Grace to IamIam, Father, Son and Holy Spirit who spoke through the Jewish Prophets and speaks to me through the Jesus of the  Scriptures, doctrines of the Church, the Mystical Body of Son one in being with all the struggling on Earth, the Penitent in Purgatory and the Triumphant in Heaven.

Saul is described as being tall, good looking and charismatic. He sounds like a film-star. He is still living today in a being known only to God. Last night I was captivated by dramas on T.V. I knew that I was wasting my time but one was trying to portray the plight known only to the Jewish people after their refusal to accept Jesus and the fall of the Temple. The other was an incredibly bloody story of  life in today's Korea. 

Forget the unreal but look to the reality that is the Gospel reading for today!

I can recreate in my mind's eye the peaceful lake, the house and Jesus surrounded by admirers, the baffled and the hungry. All classes of humanity are present but when the Pharisees who are true to the code for life prescribed by the Law complain about the presence of the ritually unclean, it is not that they are "snobbish" but rather that they totally believe the scriptures as they have interpreted them.

We can all err even when we pursue what we see as the path of righteousness. Jesus calls to all of us to be Holy as is God. He is completely open with us. We have to refuse the beauty of this world and the millions of distractions produced by the ingenuity of man. He is the completed Law of Moses but still stands as the "golden rule" of both Testaments.  We have to know, love and serve the Lord our God and share our all, as did the widow, with the brothers and sisters for whom Jesus lives, dies and is resurrected. 

Dear Lord, may this day that has now begun for me not be wasted by trivialities that capture my mind. Let my prayers remain in my heart and mind and let me not be mistaken in my belief that Jesus knows all us sinners person to person, and directs the Grace of Father, Son and holy Spirit to my soul. Let my response be based on that of Mary, an eternal "yes" to your Love. Amen.