24/08/2024

The main characteristic of my life at the moment is that I am alive in my body. It is deteriorating but I am still  a complete human whose mind is as aware as it ever was. I can follow the different items of John's vision but have to force myself to really believe that the vision is as true as the real world experience of Nathaniel.

Bartholomew is known from all eternity as the man in the fig-tree, seen before the historic event of his being welcomed by Jesus. Jesus is not a spiritual entity. He is "begotten not made". He is a real body, mind and soul. It is a real human body that bleeding real blood hangs on the cross and breathes his last breath. 

His human life has been more joyful than any of us in that he lived as completely sinless man in the midst of a sinful world. The pain of his death is beyond all our possible imaginings just as God's eternity as revealed in "visions" is not the reality that in its fullness can be known only by Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

My "I" is aware of all bodily sensation and is conscious that something more than the underused computer, my brain, is within my skull. John and Nathanial have both been called to be Apostles. They have been chosen to bear witness to the Truth that is the Eternal Life of our souls within  the Kingdom of God.

I thank Father, Son and Holy Spirit for the wonder of my being but humbly kneel before him devastated by the sinfulness with which both I and God know I have lived my life on earth. 

Dear Lord help me to live today without sin. Help me believe your Word without any filtration by false scepticism. I must have been saved on hundreds of occasions by the intervention of your messengers, angels who are our unseen allies in the battle of human life. Help me to not babble and to know that the "Our Father" is the spiritual road map for the way, the truth and the life and that the Hail Mary is all the additional support we need for your side is ever open to allow your mercy to engulf  the whole world. Let me sincerely beseech that mercy for all sinners here and also those in Purgatory. Amen