24/09/2021

How is it that even though I really want to pray and turn myself to the Lord, I wake up each morning to face a struggle to avoid falling into a reverie dominated by thoughts of sex enjoyed and sex missed. I am not on this earth to be a creature without a future. I am here to do the will of God. I know that now but half-an- hour ago I had to force myself to remember that I am not alone for God is always with me to guide me into what it is he has willed for me. 

Reading the passage about God's will for Jerusalem and putting it vaguely into the context of the care for Israel shown by God in the Old Testament I felt the need for the same care for myself and for all those sheep seemingly abandoned by our pastors. My first concern is for myself and ever since my childhood I have ever wanted to have the responsibility for myself be taken away from me so that I could avoid the guilt that comes from sin.

The disciples didn't know instantly the Jesus that we read about in the New Testament but they must have had the support of the Holy Spirit to abandon everything and follow him. As Jews they could place him in an Old Testament context but couldn't consider him to be the Second Person for God was One Indivisible. All knowledge of God comes via the death and resurrection of this same Jesus they listened to and walked behind.

Did they too have to renew themselves each morning as do I?

Dear Lord help me to be strengthened by sincere reflection and desire to avoid being pleased by words that come from me; all that is good in me is from trust in the  Love that is Father, Son and Holy Spirit.