03/02/2026

The only thing that is anything like permanent in my being is my own perception of it. I have never had an awareness of God that has not been filtered by my conscious effort to respond to Biblical revelation or interpretation of it.

No matter how hard I try to bring myself into line with the will of God and strive to become part of his Mystical Body, the Church of Love, his New Holy Family my fundamental weakness always breaks through my defences and I still keep on sinning and simultaneously regret it.

It has always been the same for me. I have always hoped for heaven. As a child and younger man,  I was always looking for or accepting opportunities to sin but simultaneously terrified by the thought of dying an unprepared for death.

I am the epitome of the anti-God intellectuals, despised pathetic weakness that it is to be a "God-fearing" man.

I share their opinion in that I too know that I  am weak and in many ways to be despised but I also know that the history of human life proves that the Universe and all that is in it is not an unreal random event. 

Our consciousnesses of being are outside of our brains and this has been proven by the direct revelation made to "The whole world" 2000 years ago. Jesus is the Resurrection. The Incarnation is True God and True Man. Jesus brought New Life into the world. 

Those who met with the Resurrected Christ all expected to see him again in their lifetimes and the hope of all Christians has always been that they will experience this meeting even though the continuation of Sin means that we all have to suffer death before this can happen.

The creator of all that it is possible to know in our own beings was born, lived with Mary and Joseph, was recognised by The Baptizer, walked, talked with and taught the Apostles, died in total weakness and became the Resurrection in order to give us incontrovertible proof that IAMFTHERSONHOLYSPIRIT loves us and knowing our sins he continues to pour out the Mercy that even as I sin is mine for the asking.

We must never despair of forgiveness. Even though guilt is an instant presence along with my sin. I remember that it took many centuries for the Resurrection to conclude IAMFATHERSONHOLYSPIRIT'S revelations to his "image and likeness" and that he spent only 10% of his time on earth in direct teaching by "word and deed".

We all have to thank God for not destroying us the moment that we rebel and even though I know myself to be totally worthless, I am still beloved and incredibly the recipient of the Mercy that was created in response to the bitter pain that my personal sin inflicts on Our Saviour God.

Dear Lord, help me to remember that I need to suffer personally, body and soul, as penance for this and all my sins. Your cross is the reality that we have made by our misuse of Your Love the source of our beings. Amen