14/01/2026

My lack of "normal" sleep has recently become "too much" for me to bear. Yesterday I was unable to begin my morning with my usual reflections that have become my "raising of mind and heart to God" as I had decided to speak to my doctor about my lack of sleep.

Samuel does not hear the "Lord" in the voice calling him "in the night" until he is guided by Eli for the "WORD of the Lord was rare in those days" but when he answers "Speak Lord for your servant  hears" Samuel begins to grow and becomes known as a prophet throughout all Israel.

This is one of the few "Bible Stories" that impressed itself on my imagination as a child and I often in my childishness waited in vain to hear "the Voice of the Lord". I can also remember that I accepted this lack of response as the reality in which I and my contemporaries, Mum and Dad, baby sister, Aunty Florry, neighbours, Father Merrigan, Churchill and Hitler were living.

Even for that child there were many levels of consciousness and the present moment  was a confusion of past memories, thoughts, imaginative manipulations and actualities in which he had his awareness of being.

The observation "The Word of the Lord was rare in those day" is a great sadness for how can his People live without knowing IAMFATHERSONHOLYSPIRIT? and How can we know him if he is "rare"?

The reality of IAMFATHERSONHOLYSPRIT, however, is not that he is rare but that it is we who cover our souls with a carapace of sin, this worldlines and downright stupid arrogance that we construct from misguiding our human senses to only recognise the things of this world and cower away from the Lord.

Although I am thankful for the sleep I enjoyed last night, I also have to ask myself whether or not the better part for me would have been to accept ongoing "sleeplessness" as a penance for the sins with which I have disfigured my life. 

God Help me to avoid the Pharisaical over scrupulosity you condemn as "whited sepulchres". Amen