05/11/2023

When I start my day I sometimes feel self-satisfied as was the Pharisee who thanked God that he was not as other men. 

If anyone else were to tell me that I was a modern Pharisee, I would deny it and get angry in my self-perceived righteousness. At an AA meeting I once heard this as a definition of humility "Once you think you've got it you've lost it".

Words are important but what is much more so is the sincerity of heart with which they are uttered. Even now as I struggle with this keyboard I can feel self-satisfaction breaking through as I tell myself that I am getting closer to doing God's will, even though my efforts could be dismissed as pious platitudes. 

I have never had the worldly talents that win the respect of men. I am disgruntled that no others have come across this record of my prayer which is my soul before God. I do remember "Prayer is the raising of the mind and the heart to God" and this is what the wholeness of my heart is able to do now.

For me, the word "I" is always to be suspect but it is the only way that I can return myself towards the Father who art in Heaven. I am a unit of the being created in His image and likeness and as this person, truly known and Loved only by God. I do search the scriptures so that I can follow His revelation that  has been preached for 2000 years but has been much more rarely acted upon.

Jesus is straight forward in his teaching but he also knows that self-categorized humility is not far from self-pride. I always think of Dickens' fictional but really true Uriah "I'm everso umble" Heap  in this context."

Dear Lord, can anything be known more about you than the return of the prodigal son and about myself than the prayer of the publican "God have mercy on me for I am a sinner". You know me and know that my soul belongs to the spiritual body that began in the sorrow of Calvary, the Glory of the Resurrection and was sealed by the Holy Spirit. Your mother was always present during your life on earth may her prayers lead the whole Earth, Heaven and Purgatory in repentance for sin and unending thanks for revealing your will to mere children.