I am 24 hrs away from yesterday and know that in that time my mind turned to God but flutteringly without the the concentration that is asked/commanded of us.

"Be holy for the Lord our god is Holy'"

I did many things; I checked seedlings, dug and transported compost; hung out and brought in washing; fixed (maybe) my mobility scooter, played with the dog and lastly filled the evening with mindlessness by watching TV.

" I know that no matter how much I wished to this vast amount of time could not have been filled by me with a willed for awareness of God".

Truth to tell, I could easily have  filled that time with despair at the state of the Church; appalled by the dereliction that is the hierarchy and the inconsistency that is most of the clergy.

It is much better to dig around in the muck and prepare for the Spring and new planting.