The inspired wisdom of the Church shines forth from the scripture readings that are part of the liturgy of Holy Week. The Isaiah is so close to the experience of Jesus that "according to the Scriptures" becomes  a divine verification. The Old Testament is God's Word, the story of His Love for mankind, his promise of mercy for all peoples, for each one of us We are saved by the Father,  Son and Holy Spirit. praise be to God.

Dear Lord, let these moments of conviction in faith remain and govern my actions this day.

Again we hear of Judas the betrayer. Why was the he needed. Why did John's Jews need someone to " hand Him over"? Did He not appear daily in the temple? The multitude knew Him. How was Judas able to take our responsibility, it is our sins that continue to betray Christ.

Dear Lord let me learn to fear my sin that despises your love and brings the Son of God to such a pitiful end.

 The Isaiah reading today holds all that I need to know on earth. No matter how alone we feel without support; fighting to face the world and all its temptations and petty annoyances; no matter how lonely and misunderstood ; no matter the injustice of the evil we are confronted with; no matter how we fall into sin; we are known to the Lord and loved by him.

Lord I pray that I always know that you are with me and show this by my works; help me to avoid sin which is the death of my soul.

Judas seems to be a necessary part of the salvation brought to the world by the incarnate Lord. Is there a difference between predetermined and preknown? Jesus knows how despicable will be the actions of St Peter when confronted with the hostility of the trial. St John seems to be the only one of those trusted and elevated by Jesus who did not fail in the last hours; but St John was supported by Our Lady whose help is still always available. 

Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

 Today I need to do the will of the Lord and avoid the potential numbness that periodically affects. me. Judas who seems to have been a bad apple from the start and yet was a necessary element in the events of this week as recorded by the evangelists, protests, as I do too when confronted by an action that causes him to consider his own failings. He does protest too much. It is easy to complain about our clergy forgetting that we too are human and weak.

Dear Lord let me shake  off this negative that i am living at the moment. I do need your grace. let me seek it in your sacrament of penance.

Lazarus was at table with Jesus and his disciples. This is the man that had been brought back from the dead. He was  a living witness to the authority of our saviour. The Jews ( What does John mean by "Jew" ) wanted to kill him too. The image of Mary drying Jesus' feet with her hair is difficult to cope with but Jesus' response to Judas' protests is a pointer to where our priorities should be; Jesus should always be first and everything else will follow.

Let me experience your grace and let me live your  teachings in true sincerity.

 I have not known during my life pain as felt by the "suffering servant" or the "agony in the garden". The suffering for the sake of my sins has yet to come to me. I didn't want to suffer so have denied my sins, but they and I am always known. My suffering to come has already been alleviated by Him who humbled Himself even to death. Today's readings contain all that we need to know or do. How can I face their immensity.

Dear Lord let the pains you suffered during this week be known by your servants and not just be part of a familiar story of times past.

Everything necessary about our lives can be found in the liturgies of these days. The intensity of the emotions that fill me are impossible to maintain. Our priests need more grace than I can stand to meet what it is you ask of them. I can aim for holiness but it is the holiness won by the torture and death of the  cross and so I cannot bear it.

Let me this day strive to do your will and let the grace poured out at Calvary be not wasted.

 The hardest thing of all is to respond with love to other people ".Stiff-necked " applies to all humanity not  just the Jews, Today we hear that the Lord is going to gather in the scattered sons of Israel and resettle them where their home will be for ever.

Lord gather in us the lost souls who have desecrated the Church which is your body here on earth.

And the already gathered in are today considering how to deal with Jesus whose recent miracle of bringing back Mary' s brother Lazarus has inspired many to expect even more from Jesus. Their leaders are now sure that they want to kill him. They will have to bring the multitude to their way of thinking if there  is to be a successful outcome.

Lord show us the way that we the believers can force our leaders to be true to their true vocation / ordination, leading us to you.

 Much of what we read in scripture gives us not the detail we as modern man have come to expect in any communication John's disciples knew of Jesu from John's preaching but of that we seem to have only Baptism and a few words about John being unfit to unbuckle his shoe. This morning we are told that John's disciples were amazed by Jesus for what John, even without any miracle.  had announced about this man was true 

Let our faith not be weakened by teaching that tries to find a different version of Jesus in the scriptures for you our Lord are "the Way, the Truth and the Life"

Baptism is the sacrament together with matrimony that does not depend on the authority of "The Keys" the rest especially the Eucharist are within the Institutional Church. The Institutional Church is undoubtedly what Jesus made when he began to build on Peter. The Church that totally disturbs us today comes from the wounds and death of Christ.

Dear Lord  stir up the hearts of our pastors that they know truly their purpose in life and care for the sheep with love that comes from you.

 His Word was made flesh and dwelt among  us" I have never really understood what is meant by God's "Word". I have glossed over it and thought that it signified Jesus and of course it does but God also spoke through the Old Testament prophets and it was this "Word" they delivered to the "chosen people".I have read in philosophy books the  concept that all existence has its base in the Logos and I think that it is this word translated from the Greek has become the "Word" in English.  But what this means is still a source of confusion to me.

Dear Lord, let Mary's Fiat be my goal in life and let me avoid anything that can be a source of sin,

Thinking more about the "Word" I suppose that anything which reveals God to us . Anything that  turns our beings to the Father is His Word revealed through the Holy Spirit. It is the  Trinity our revealed God.

May I become more grounded in my Faith, Our Lady is the source of Jesus' humanity and our Church may she intercede to have God's grace purify us so that we too can be ready to be "according to your will".

 Today's reading from Daniel reminds  me of an incident that happened some years ago . At mass, the deacon who preached began by explaining that the book of Daniel was not contemporaneous with the events there detailed but belonged to that part of the Old Testament considered  to be  "Wisdom Literature" . It was no less inspired by God than the  rest of the scriptures. 

This prompted an outburst from one of the congregation. We were all very embarrassed by this. (We are British you know. )Some years later Lincoln Cathedral was hired out to a film company to be used as a set for a blasphemous production. One person protested against this by kneeling to say the rosary in public in front of the  film location; she was not the erudite deacon.

May studying about your revelations and life on earth not become a detriment to living our lives always in the known presence of God .

Bearing witness to God is the supposed purpose of this record I am making. When I consider what examples some people have been both in  heir lives and in their writings and other legacies my efforts seem very puny But I do know that  I am trying to avoid the self consciousness that results in self-centredness self-promotion. 

Lord let me learn to listen to you and to know your Word for what it is.

"As he was saying this many came to believe in him". And what is sit that he was saying? Many words have been written in attempting to know the meaning of Jesus' sentences and some of us try to come to an understanding of them. I like a line about King Herod and John the Baptist. "He was perplexed by him but liked to listen to him". The quote from this morning's Gospel and King Herod seem to show that Jesus and John the Baptist were for their listeners more important than their words. What was it in Jesus words of this morning's Gospel that made many come to believe in Him?

Lord strengthen my believe in you and let that faith keep me from sin.

I write this blog as a daily prayer and meditation with the full knowledge that my life is not a continuous witnessing to and following of  Jesus. I edit what I have written to avoid being embarrassed. I try to be sincere in what I write as it is done before God with the intention of being pleasing to him. Ten minutes is not much to show for a lifetime of being.

The belief  that this morning's Pharisees came to can only be in the forgiveness of sin, the Mercy of the Lord.

 There are many places on the web where  our priests and our bishops our deacons, are condemned and castigated. There is much talk of the evils of "clericalism". (I think that this is a misuse of the word which has more to do with wielding political influence than the wallowing in the pride of  "ontological change" resulting from their ordination.) There is a shocking amount of consistent hatred that is displayed. Our institutional church is continually making mistakes. Are we too ready to forgive these as they do for each other?  There seem to be amongst our clergy those who cynically declare that we are all sinners and that the most we can hope for is not the Beatific Vision but Purgatory.

Lord you passed the authority to cleanse us from our sins to St Peter and your other Apostles let our priests become truth sayers and examples of your holiness.

We cannot ignore the sexual antics of some of your priests and the scandalous cover-ups instituted by their bishops. But the people on the web who claim that Jesus did not leave us a priesthood are wrong. It is true that Jesus did give the scribes and Pharisees a bad time and that the Chief priests at Jesus trial performed as badly as our Bishops when faced with interrogation. However, there is a hidden point in today's Gospel supporting the Pharisees' sincerity; when challenged by Jesus they drifted away!

Dear Lord you know we sinners need the sacrament of penance; may our priests see clearly their own offences but have them not drift away as did the Pharisees rather let them come back to their rightful places in our parishes.

 Wow! What other reaction could anyone have to the happening in today's Gospel. What an experience for the followers of Jesus in real time. The man born blind has been cured, Jesus has been more seriously threatened and now after his human tears Jesus, our God, shows his authority even over death. Some of those who witnessed this mind-blowing reality would shortly be shouting for his death, "Crucify him! Crucify him",

Lord, you know that I have had a moment of true belief of consciousness of  your presence; let not this moment be lost by my turning yet again to sin.

Even though our churches are not full in these days of Covid, today many believers will be reciting the Nicaean creed "through him all things were made" and in this they will be lead by their priests. "All things were made" including our church, Christ's  body here on earth. Has our Church like Lazarus on the fourth day, becoming rotten and stinking?  Even if this is true, Christ will surely revivify us or maybe Martha's  "Last Day" will catch us all in the End of Time.

Lord look on the devotion of your people. Let us still know that your love is our sole support. let our priests and bishops, our clergy ordained by you, do their sincere best and let us know that our own failings are the only ones that with your help we can rectify.  

 What happens in a seminary? I used to suppose that there was to be found an awful lot of praying and thinking of how to follow Jesus in the world outside, and seeking the grace to support chastity and learning about how to hold fast to God, and helping others without the plank of  selfhood blinding vision. 

Lord you know our need for holy pastors please show us how to cleanse those places devoted to forming your priests into sanctuaries of your holiness and banish from them self-idolatry and duplicity.

Yesterday I read that knowledge does not have pride of place before belief; that the only truthful theologian has to believe the object of his study. Our priests learn about Your Church but that knowledge is not to be used for academia and clerical advancement. The first thoughts of the True Shepherd is for his flock; but today we the sheep are again left alone in the wilderness.

Lord you know that I do try to be wise and leave here only words that please me; but let it be true that my heart is longing for the grace that you have bought for us. Veni Spiritu Sancti !

 Today I have filled in my census form and my mind is now a blank. They want to know if I am married to a man or a woman!! How is it that the "anti-Gods" of taken over the whole of life? It is important for somebody to know if my sex has been changed!! The whole of the world that wishes to promote the stupidity and sinfulness of homosexuality into a new righteousness is a joy to the devil 

May our God-given freedom align itself to the Way, the Truth and the Life.

It is true that our Church has always faced within its own ranks abominations and those who prefer themselves to the teaching of Christ and the Apostles , That is  why truly following the Lord  is a path along which we can find markers pointing out what is to be avoided and the straight path to our Father in heaven. At this moment the trust I used to have in the clergy and hierarchy is tautly stretched but not yet at breaking point.

Surely the loving mercy of the Father Son and Holy Spirit  can defeat the sinfulness to be found in all of us. Maranatha 

Jesus founded the Church. The Church in this world has priests and Bishops who can trace their ordinations back to the hands of the Apostles who had received the same gift from Jesus. At that time, Jesus was present in the world,  the majority of the Jews in Judah and the Jews and Gentiles of Galilee did not accept his teaching nor the priestly authority of the Apostles.

Lord give us holy priests and let their lives truly be devoted to you our Saviour. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

The continuing presence of "Jews and Gentiles" in our Global Judah and Galilee bears witness to the ever lasting presence of Jesus in our Church. We all have the freedom to choose the path we follow through life and God has not straitjacketed us into a printed circuit of being. The humanity of the institutional aspect of the Church blinds us to the reality of "wrong choices"/ sinfulness. Bishops strive to serve the " Institution"; in so doing they loose sight of the heart. "Listen to their words but do not follow their deeds" said Jesus of the Scribes and Pharisees.

 Let the wrong doing of others not excuse my own. Lord have mercy on us all.

 They left everything and followed him. These being the forerunners and models of our Bishops. I wonder what the consciences of the Bishops'  Conference of England and Wales make of that as they listen to or read this morning's gospel.

My own conscience cannot respond other than to know my sin and in this moment to regret and atone for it.

Our priests have answered the call of Jesus. On the shore of the lake this meant for the listening fishermen to actually drop/leave everything behind and walk in the footsteps of the Lord. Today the answer is found in years of formation and millions of words. What is it that Jesus taught? It cannot be the wearing of lace and fine linen.

I cannot let myself begin to rant against the sinful excesses reported by the anonymous people everywhere on the net. But I did see at the English Inquiry into the sexual abuse of children, our hierarchs pathetically trying to defend the wickedness of their coverups to protect deviant clergy. Utter shame!

The negatives must not be forgotten and are to be avoided like our "Covid" but the Truth that Jesus taught is still the Truth today.

I

Can. 915 Those upon whom the penalty of excommunication or interdict has been imposed or declared, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin, are not to be admitted to holy communion.

Can. 916 Anyone who is conscious of grave sin may not celebrate Mass or receive the Body of the Lord without previously having been to sacramental confession, unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, which includes the resolve to go to confession as soon as possible.

I still am the same person seeking to do God's will but with a increasingly confused/doubtful sense of Church.

Bishops invite groups who define themselves by their pride in their sinfulness, into their Cathedrals and describe the resultant assembly as "Joyful celebration of Love". This from a former rector of an English seminary. How are we to think of priests formed there under his leadership? Do they have any understanding or love for the Church , our participation in the life of the Triune God..

Let me find joy in the work of the garden where God's work of creation is manifest in simplicity without the confusion sown by the Devil in the warmly welcoming compost of mankind.

 I am 24 hrs away from yesterday and know that in that time my mind turned to God but flutteringly without the the concentration that is asked/commanded of us.

"Be holy for the Lord our god is Holy'"

I did many things; I checked seedlings, dug and transported compost; hung out and brought in washing; fixed (maybe) my mobility scooter, played with the dog and lastly filled the evening with mindlessness by watching TV.

" I know that no matter how much I wished to this vast amount of time could not have been filled by me with a willed for awareness of God".

Truth to tell, I could easily have  filled that time with despair at the state of the Church; appalled by the dereliction that is the hierarchy and the inconsistency that is most of the clergy.

It is much better to dig around in the muck and prepare for the Spring and new planting.

 Years ago  I was troubled by my life as a Catholic and tried to blog about this as nobody I knew wanted to listen. I soon found out that nobody on the web wanted to listen either and that I couldn't maintain the level of intensity that had preceded my first efforts.

I don't suppose that anything will be different now.

On the web I see great tangles of words and claims to "TRUTH". This great mishmash is obviously the result of the mishmash of "Is" who are concealed in the vast extent of "Being" that is theirs on awakening and living throughout the day.

But I must try to bear witness to my God.

I have often said "Lord" but I feel that I must openly show myself to God who knows what I am in the secret place that should be full of prayer.

I hope that this doesn't fizzle out as it did before.